Abeyyyyyy Hug.....!!!!!!

Someone passionate with feeling once quoted “When you stop to hug someone, the physical ending of the hug is just the beginning of its life” And I am sure that quote wasn’t preached by me.

PS: The content you are going to read below is purely restricted to my humorous take on social hugs ;) do not take it otherwise.

I always find this HUG concept very confusing. Especially these days where it’s become a fashion taboo to hug any person you meet socially. Things are so much simpler in my family, where when we greet anybody elderly to us we bow down and touch their feet to seek blessings and the ones younger to us touch our feet to be blessed ;) Such an ecstatic feeling at times it is to feel like Goddess…!! But know what....I'd rather bow down and stretch my muscles instead, when it’s my turn to greet. Though I personally don’t like any of my younger generation lot to touch my feet and notice my heels cracked ;) That’s when I’d love to hug my lil ones. But again I have to deal with these frequent awkward moments where I go for a handshake and the opposite person goes for a hug. I am like WTF…!! Isn’t this like the most terrifying 5 seconds of your life???? Aaarggghhh….I always feel like that..!!! I am not at all a fan of social hugs..!!!

Things were so much simpler when I was younger - men and women were brought up with the principle that you only hug the person you marry ... and that too after you have your first child ... nothing before that :) But those times were different. Those were the days when Pepsi was priced at 5 rupees, cell phones were unheard of, Mahesh Bhatt was spending more time behind the camera than in front of it and Amitabh Bachan was playing an overaged hero. Well, Big B is still playing the angry young man (Buddha Hoga Tera Baap) but the other things are beyond imagination today.

Coming back to my ponderings….You know what I’m talking about – you want to hug, they choose the handshake and both of you try to switch your choices resulting in the weirdest  screwy dance sequence of arms simultaneously switching from open, to closed, to thrusting forward and pulling back while bodies move towards each other in a still questionable collision. Don’t forget that this frantic readjustment of limbs is always accompanied by verbal greetings which are also going downhill: “Hi! How are you it’s been so loo…ooopssss! Should…we…hug…or…? Yup….ok…haha! Ok so…”

This happened to me very recently where I met a friend who just came to see me off at one of the railway station stops in Gujarat. He is a very dear school time friend of mine. I adorably call him Chigzz. We must have met after 2 years I guess and just for a span of 2 mins as that’s the only duration of stoppage of my train which had embarked from Bangalore. Of my 2 mins time, please see what happened:

First 20 seconds: I get off the train and look for him.

Next 10 seconds I spot him and he walk towards me.

Then the disastrous 8 seconds where we hug, but in a chaotic fashion, I mean left side or right side….and whatever!!!!!! X-(

The rest of the 1 min 22 seconds we talk and bade goodbye!!!!!!!! What waste of time I say!!

I don’t want to crib much about it. But I really want to understand is it really necessary to hug??? What’s the big deal with these social hugs? Ofcourse, nasty minds I am talking here only about social hugs which mean a small hug followed by the gentle brushing of cheeks, followed by a big smile and an occasional gentle pat on the back. It's very different from the "come on baby let's make out" hug where couples hug with passion so intense that you're often left wondering if they are wrestling. It's also very different from the "ohhh! I love you sooo much baby" hug where the girl closes her eyes and squeezes the guy like a drained out lemon. The social hug is supposed to follow three Ss - short, subtle and sweet.

But this post is not  a entry for Poonam Sharma’s description on what a Social Hug is all about  or my naggings on how they scare me. Every time a guy approaches me for a social hug I go through all the rules in my mind. Now face it - I am but a confused soul. To me most things follow lots of ifs and buts, at times though. So I quickly run it all in my mind. 

Do I go for the left side? No. Maybe the right side is better. Whatever it is I should NOT hit him straight.
How long should it be?
Shall I confuse him by whispering crap into his ears?
Am I stinking?
Which one do I go for - gentle half a second hand rest on his back or a gentle two pat motion?
How long should it be?
How long should it be?
And to top it all - the cheek kiss. Who do you think added this gesture to the social hug? That's what scares me most. For those unaware - the cheek-to-cheek kiss is one tricky affair. The two cheeks are supposed to gently brush against each other. Gently - that's the key word. A lil miscalculation and the guys jaw will go !bam! on the lady's face. But being too cautious is of no help either, coz then you'll just miss the cheek and maybe even hear a lil wooooshing sound (and that my friend mind you is NOT the air between your cheeks but the sound of embarrassment).

If you ask me when I want to avoid these social hugs I have my tricks in place. Wanna know how I do it:

I keep my hands full either with glass of water, or my handbag, phone camera, or maybe at times lift other’s babies ;) The bestest trick all you guys can try too which I do often…just give a high five and start complimenting ;)
Ewwwww..!!! Too many complications isn’t it. Whatever happened to good old hand shakes….So either we start hugging or we develop some wicked handshakes in their place. Personally, I am up for a combination of both….!!! J Tight Hugs To My Readers xxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Virtual Ones are Mere Safe)